This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
