I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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