this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
