Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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