so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
