the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
smell my finger.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
