just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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