About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
