before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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