That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
