ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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