Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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