I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
