You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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