Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and she was petting her beer can
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
They have beer where we have blood.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
