so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
well, you know. whores of a feather.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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