Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This gyro tastes like lonliness
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
