just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
