I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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