Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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