I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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