Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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