her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
