i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
