i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
