I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
