We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
