No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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