You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
