hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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