apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
