Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
