I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
