escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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