Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
