dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
