somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
