There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
