You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I pour the whiskey from now on
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
