after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
