just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize