i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize