Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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