a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
