i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
