Do vagina's smell?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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