well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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