the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
