It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
