Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
