my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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