I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize