so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize