So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
