If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I want is dick and wine.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize