Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish I could teleport
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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