That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
