The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize