Four minutes until I can fart!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
