Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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