Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
