Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
