i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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