I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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