if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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