I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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