Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
