I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
