i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
