so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
