All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
