he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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