Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think I won the penis lottery.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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