Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
