You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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