bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
